


175

by hatsunemiku



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Insecurities, and zen comes to the rescue, basically mc is insecure about their weight, eating disorder maybe? idk, ill say so just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatsunemiku/pseuds/hatsunemiku
Summary: so basically mc gets hung up on some weight gain and zen will not accept this





	1. Chapter 1

Zen had left early for work that morning. He had told you the night before that you would probably wake alone. It upset you, sure, but work was work.

You woke at about 10 A.M., awoken by the sunlight filtering through the curtains. This is where your morning routine began. You would lay around in bed for an extra fifteen minutes or so, relishing in the warmth of the sheets that enveloped you. You then dragged yourself out of bed and floated into the bathroom in a daze. You simply can’t wake up and start your day without a cold shower. They were always short, you never spent any longer than you had to in the shower. After your shower, you’d step up to the mirror in the bathroom and apply whatever skincare rubs you were using. However, this morning, you stop to examine your face a little more critically.

Your cheeks had definitely gotten pudgier. You squeeze them for added measure, and heave a heavy sigh. A shiny red pimple had magically appeared right between your eyebrows. It was a small one, but it was big enough to make you want to throw every moisturizing rub you had right out of the window. But, as per usual, you let these feelings sink deep inside of you, and you hope it just goes away.

However, the pudginess of your cheeks gets you wondering. It’s never good when you stop and think, as you had a tendency to overthink. Before common sense could stop you, you gingerly step onto the scale in the corner of the bathroom. You squeeze your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the haunting number on the scale.

 

_175._

 

**_175._ **

 

Your heart stops. Your mind stops. Your breath stops. Everything stops. The only thing that doesn’t stop is your tears. The floodgates open, and they don’t appear to be stopping any time soon. You don’t understand, how could you have gained this much this quickly?

Candy bar on Tuesday. Ice cream on Wednesday. Pancakes for breakfast every Monday and Thursday. Cupcakes with Jaehee on Friday. A hot chocolate from Zen on Saturday. Your mind races through every sweet thing you had eaten in the past week, and the amount made you sick to your stomach. Something had to be done.

 

Zen got home a little later than he had said, but you didn’t have any complaints. You rushed to the door when he stepped into the house, greeting him with kisses and a warm embrace.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that, princess,” His voice was smooth and warm, like a piping hot mocha. The smile you had put on for him soon faded when your mind darted to the sweet drink, mentally cursing yourself for thinking such things.

“MC, sweetheart, are you alright?” His eyes bore right into you, right into your soul.

“Yes, yes, I’m alright..! I just got to thinking, you know how I get sometimes.” You laugh nervously, hoping he’ll just drop the subject.

“If you say so, then I have no choice than to believe you. Have you eaten yet? I was thinking that I could maybe cook us some dinner! Can you picture how romantic that would be?” Your stomach drops completely. Your face pales. You hadn’t eaten since the night before.

Zen senses something’s up, and silence falls in the room. The silence lasts for only a few seconds before your stomach rumbles, only adding to the tension in the room.

“MC, is there something you aren’t telling me? You can be honest with me, princess. Is there something wrong?” His hands reach forward and softly grip your arms, forcing you to face him. You remain completely silent, avoiding his gaze.

“I… Ha-... I.. Uh, uh…” There are a million things you’d love to say.

 

_I’m a fat repulsive creature, why are you still here?_

_Don’t act like you haven’t noticed the extra weight on my arms, it’s painfully obvious._

_I haven’t eaten all day, my stomach is killing me._

_Have I mentioned I’m repulsive?_

 

But instead, no words leave your mouth, only short breaths and stuttered syllables. Your tears, however, flow from your eyes without any hesitation. You stand before one of the most gorgeous men on earth as an absolute mess. Your mind begins to race again.

 

_You were never good enough for him._

_A man like him? With you? In your dreams._

_It was only a matter of time before he realized the mistake he was making._

 

Zen stares down at you for a moment longer, then pulls you close to his chest. He rubs his hand on your back in an attempt to soothe you.

“Babe, babe, talk to me, please. I can’t help when you won’t talk to me.” You take a few deep breaths, steadying your harshly beating heart.

“I.. I gained like twenty pounds, Zen. My cheeks are fat, my stomach is-... Fat, my arms jiggle when I move..” You stop momentarily to stifle a wave of tears waiting to fall. “...I’m not pretty, I never will be. You shouldn’t-... Be dating someone like me, you should date some… some… some gorgeous celebrity with a slim, toned body and clear, perfect skin..!” Your voice raised slightly towards the end of your statement as tears fell freely from your eyes again. Zen stared at you blankly, before a wave of sadness crashed down onto him.

“Babe…” His grip on you weakened, enough for you to wriggle free and distance yourself from him. Your gaze hit the floor. Your arms were crossed, and your legs were closed as tightly as they could be. You simply wanted to shrink from existence. Zen simply wouldn’t allow this. He quietly walked towards you and placed his hand under your chin, angling your head up to face him. Even now, you wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Beautiful.” A kiss landed on your cheek. “Adorable.” Kiss. “Divine.” Kiss. “Stunning.” Kiss. “Breath-taking”. Kiss.

Only now did your eyes look into his. A small, warm smile stretched across his cheeks. God, was he gorgeous.

“I want you to think of yourself as the goddess you are, sent directly from the heavens. A celebrity with a perfect figure could never make me as happy as you have made me, please know that. Besides, you have a perfect figure. It matches you perfectly, so soft and warm..” He plants a sweet kiss on your lips. You’re caught by surprise, your face flushing to a bright red. Zen pulls away and lets out a deep, hearty laugh. This only makes your blush more intense as you put your hands over your face.

“Don’t laugh at me, Zen!” A small smile bubbles onto your cheeks.

“Oh, but princess, I can’t help it! Especially when you look this cute!” Zen fawns over you, then he softly kisses the top of your head. You finally pull your hands from your face, smiling up at Zen.

“Thank you Zen, really..” Your tone softens as you take hold one of his hands with both of yours.

“You don’t have to thank me, princess. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let the light of my life feel so bad..? Never think of yourself as anything less than extravagant, promise me.”

“I promise, Zen.”

“Good.” He quickly kisses you. “How about we make some dinner now, hm? I’m sure you’re hungry, and we can’t have that.”

“Yes! I am...really hungry, now that you mention it.” You bite at your bottom lip. “I love you, Zen.” You blurt these words so suddenly, without any pretense.

“I love you too, my darling princess~” His voice is so smooth, so velvety, you almost lose yourself in it. But before you can get too caught up in it, Zen grabs onto your hands and leads you into the kitchen to make you the most delicious dinner possible.


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what im doing with this im just adding stuff when i feel like it

"I'm leaving you." His words ripped through you like a bullet.

"Leaving me? Why? I thought everything was okay between us?" Your words dripped with fear and desperation.

"Isn't it obvious? A man like me shouldn't ever be seen with someone like you."

"Someone like me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. The way your fat hangs off of your arms, the way your skin breaks out if you get even a little stressed out, just...just everything about you is  _wrong."_ Wrong. Wrong. You were wrong. Every single one of your worst fears was being realized at this exact second. Your knees gave out beneath you, causing you to fall to the ground. As you settled on the ground, blubbery tears began to cascade from your eyes.

Zen scoffed. "Pathetic. If you want a chance with anyone, you'd better start working out now."

* * *

 

Your eyes shot open, your vision blurred with tears. You felt Zen's arm wrapped around you, but you fought against his grip as you fumbled out of the bed. You felt somewhat uneasy on your feet as you stumbled to the nearest wall, finding support leaning on it. Your tears begin to flow more rapidly now, and you stifle your sobs in hopes of not waking Zen.

Zen felt you leave the bed, and he slowly begins to stir. Despite your best efforts to keep quiet, he hears you and sits up, turning to the source of the noise. He quickly grows worried. He practically jumps out of bed and rushes to your side. You try to run from him, but you can only go so far in a closed bedroom. He soon catches up with you and places his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to face him. You make no attempt to wipe away the tears in your eyes, knowing there's no hope in stopping them.

"Babe, babe, what happened?" His voice is saturated with worry, but he manages to speak softly and gently.

"I-.. It was just a nightmare, Zen. It's nothing you need to worry about." Your words choked through your lips, the syllables heavy and broken.

"It seems like it was more than just a nightmare, babe.. Talk to me, you know you can always talk to me. It hurts me to see you like this."

"You-... You-... You don't have to worry about it, I'll be fine." You fight from his grip yet again, but Zen grabs onto your wrist, keeping you close to him.

"You don't always have to act strong, MC. Look at me, please." Begrudgingly, you meet his eyes. His eyes are practically bursting from worry. A deep pain throbbed in your chest,  _this was all your fault._ "You always act so, so strong.. Please, it's okay to let me in. I won't hurt you, I promise."

You break away from his gaze. You take a few deep breaths, attempting to calm yourself down. "I.. I had a nightmare. You.. You left me in it." You fiddle with the end of your shirt, hoping to keep your mind off of the dream.

"I broke up with you..? Why did I do that?"

You froze. Your brain replayed the nightmare over again in frightening detail. You shudder as tears begin to fall from your eyes again. "You said that you shouldn't be seen with someone like me. With someone...as fat as me, as ugly as me, as weak as me..." Your voice trailed off as the tears pouring from your eyes increased.

Zen had nothing to say. Nowhere in his mind could he conjure up the right set of words to make everything alright. He pulled you close to him, holding onto you tightly. He stayed silent, and only placed soft kisses on the top of your head. He stayed silent for what felt like an eternity.

"I would never, ever think that of you, not ever. You can't keep comparing yourself to me, MC. You're only going to hurt yourself. If you want someone to compare yourself to, pick Jumin." The room fell completely silent, then a small laugh escaped your lips. "There you go, babe. There's my MC." Zen smiled, then pressed another kiss to the top of your head. "I know the media isn't nice to you, I know some of my fans aren't nice to you...but you can't let that hurt you. Because I will always love you, regardless of what anyone else says. The whole world could turn against us, and I wouldn't ever leave you."

"I'm sure you're just saying that, Zen.. You really are too good for me."

"No, no, I'm completely serious, babe! If everyone on the planet - including the RFA - turned against us, I would stay right by your side for all of eternity! That sounds incredibly romantic, doesn't it?"

"All of eternity? That does sound romantic, now that you mention it."

Zen sighs, then plants kisses all over your face. "We must be destiny, sweetheart. We were made for each other." You squeeze him hard, not wanting to let go. Zen leads you back to the bed, and you snuggle closely to him.

"Have sweet dreams, my princess." Zen kisses the tip of your nose, and the two of you are quickly off to sleep.


End file.
